Black men only dating white women
During a bathroom break or a trip to the bar, I’ll check my phone, and almost always there is a news alert telling me Donald Trump is attempting to curtail, or has just succeeded in curtailing, the rights of marginalized people in America.
It’s an odd thing to then go back to my date and continue the performance of “getting to know you.” I fantasize about walking up to him and saying, “Gotta go!
Since Trump was elected, I’ve felt paradoxically alienated by white people finding or doubling down on their commitment to change.
Somehow their politicization has begun to seem cartoonish, filled with performance and self-congratulation. But it wasn’t only on election night that translating experience felt so fraught.
What I’m craving right now from a partner — more than feeling beautiful, more than anything — is a “black nod” version of a relationship.
I know a man isn’t going to get me through the Trump era.
The store had some, but none that matched my skin tone. Once, in my late 20s, my boyfriend and I were stopped by police, and I quickly became frantic about the weed in the car.
While I tried to explain to this man why what he was saying was offensive, my boyfriend stood there in silence.Communication is necessary for any healthy relationship, and in an interracial relationship it’s paramount.Every white man I’ve dated has, sometimes consciously and sometimes not, asked me to explain to them some aspect of blackness.Later, I tried to convey how hurt I was that he didn’t say anything, but he didn’t seem to understand how bewildered I was.There are, in my relationships with white men, so many moments like that.